This story is from my friend Kerrin, who is currently living in England with her boyfriend, Jason. Kerrin tells very funny, very very long stories, and believe it or not this in abridged version:

“Jason and I have adopted a cat, well that’s not completely true, the cat adopted us.

One day about 7 weeks ago, a cat hopped over the back garden wall and marched straight into the kitchen through the open back doors. Originally we thought she was just a local neighbor’s cat because she was so well behaved and loved people, but after 4 days she didn’t leave and we started getting worried. We took her to the vet, who did not recognize her and there was no microchip. She was in very good health so we decided to keep her until we could find her missing family. The vet agreed that she was a house cat based on how well she was behaved and the good condition of her skin and fur. I posted fliers around our village and stuffed every mail box.

Finally, a woman called from a farm just down the road. She said she thought she recognized Fred (as we named her on her first day with us before we knew he was a she). As soon as we got there the woman recognized her as one of their barn cats. Apparently Fred has a long history of running away for months at a time. There is a dog, another cat, and horse at the farm, and Fred does not seem to like any of them. No sooner had we let Fred out of the cat carrier than the dog chased her over the farm wall and she was back off to our house. By the way, Fred’s real name is Fifi, sometimes we tease her and call her Fifi because it is such a silly name, but then again who are we to judge, we named a girl cat Fred!

Fred was home waiting for us by the time we walked back. We tried locking her out but that cat is a ninja at break-ins. Over the course of a week, she managed to find every open window and break in. She really stumped us one afternoon when she came walking down the stairs from upstairs. We put her back outside and continued what we were doing, but then, not 15 minutes later, there she was again, proudly marching down the stairs. Apparently, Fred figured out how to hop from the shed roof to the side fence to the small roof of the extension on that side of the house, to the small forgotten bedroom window. So we shut the window, and all night we had to listen to her meowing and meowing by the window.

Of course, she did not go home but rather sat by our back door again meowing until she went hoarse. I have never heard a cat lose her voice before but this one did. Finally, after a great deal of debate, we decided to let her back in. One thing I haven’t mentioned so far is what a good cat Fred is. Besides her ninja break-in ability, Fred is the best cat anyone could ever dream of. She likes to play when you want to play, and if not she will sit on your lap and sleep or cuddle all day long. If you get up to use the bathroom or make a cup of tea she will follow you, wait while you do what ever it is you need to do, and then follow you back and cuddle right back up. She never enters a room we do not go into ourselves, and once she followed me into the spare bedroom and I scolded her and put her out – she has never gone in again, we can even leave the door open, she will not go there. She does not jump on counters and has never even looked at our food. If we are outside she will jump on our shoulders and walk around with us through the garden. And she uses the cat flap freely to go do her business outside. She has left us a couple birds by the back door but the red kites (UK bird similar to a hawk) pick them up with in hours. If you have ever wanted a cat, this is the cat most people can only ever dream of. And that is the story of how Fred adopted us!!!”